5 Tips for Self-Discovery

Many people would rather watch television or spend time with people they don’t like to avoid being alone. The fear of being alone or experiencing loneliness is a topic we don’t often discuss openly. If we own up to feeling lonely, we might be perceived as being weak or vulnerable.  

In our technology-rich society, we are constantly connected to others via social media, email or text messaging. This continuous thread of connection to others undermines our ability to be alone with our own thoughts.

Women typically struggle with aloneness more than men. This fear can be rooted in the perception if they are alone now they will end up living a life of a “spinster.” To most women, that would be a fate worse than death. This mindset can lead to compromising life choices to avoid this outcome in her life.

Even if you don’t enjoy being alone, there are several strategies you can employ to make spending time alone more enjoyable. Getting to know yourself on a deeper level and learning to develop intimacy with yourself will decrease your need to be continuously distracted by meaningless activities.

There are many possibilities for getting to know what makes you tick, try these simple tips to get started.

Take a personality test – There are tons of personality assessments out there.  One of my favorites is the Myers Briggs assessment.  It boils down your personality into one of sixteen possible types. This assessment will give you valuable insights into your communication preferences, leadership attributes, thinking style, and so much more.

Knowing more about how you think and process information can help you create deeper more meaningful relationships, make better decisions and create more positive outcomes in your life and business. Knowing more about yourself can help you customize a growth plan to focus on areas where you feel could benefit you.

Pay attention to what you say “yes” and “no” to –  Over committing our time is one of the ways we experience burnout. Learning to say “no” to good things can create space for us to say “yes” to great things in our life. Use your journal to identify trends of what you say “yes” or “no” to and focus on the reason why you choose to participate or not participate in some activities.

If guilt or the feeling of obligation is your motivation, rethink your response the next time you’re asked to do something you don’t want to do or have time for. Setting healthy boundaries is a great way to practice self-care and stay true to your core values. It’s far better to say “no” to an invitation than to do it and feel resentful.  Make it a practice to do things that bring joy and pleasure to your life.

Ask yourself, “Who am I?” – Take time to outline your core beliefs.  Do you believe you’re a victim or that you’re victorious in life? Do you feel like you’re less deserving of happiness and love than those around you? Do you have a healthy mindset when it comes to wealth and success?  Take this short quiz to find out what your core values are and if you’re living in alignment.

Having clarity about your core beliefs can help you make adjustments that reduce inner conflict. Listen to your intuition when you’re in doubt.  Your body is your best guide to discovering who you really are and what matters most to you. Living an authentic life in alignment with your core values will increase intimacy levels in your relationship and provide more pleasure in your life.

Tap into your passion and purpose – Do you know why you were put on this earth?  Are you in touch with who you are here to serve?  Do you feel like every day is the best day ever or do you struggle to make it through each day? Knowing the passions that drive you and the purpose you were uniquely gifted to fulfill can give your life meaning.

If you feel stuck in life and can’t move forward, do a gut check and determine what the root of your resistance is.  It might be you’re not working in your genius zone and you need to tap into your passions. Not sure what your passions are?  Make a list of your gifts and talents, create a list of people you admire, note your favorite activities as a child, and ask yourself, “What would I do if I had there was no possibility of failure…”

Ask others to describe you – Our closest friends and family might know us better than we know ourselves. Ask them to create a list of ten words to describe you. Compare their list with your own.  How are they similar and how are they different?

Pay attention to how you feel about the words provided to you. Do you feel in alignment with the descriptors? Were you surprised by some of the words used by those closest to you? Use this tool to make an accurate assessment of who you are today and formulate a plan to become the person you know you are destined to be.

Self-discovery takes intentional action. It can take you down a path of healing to shed shame from your story or to offer forgiveness to those who hurt you in your past.  The great news it is never too late to say “yes” to yourself and become the person you want to be.

Transformation starts on the inside. It takes mindfulness and accountability. Team up with a mentor or coach to help you on your personal development journey. You have the power to change the ending to your story.  Are you ready to get started?

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